Surrendering the Illusion

If you want to become full, let yourself be empty. If you want to be reborn, let yourself die.

-Tao Te Ching 22

Life often asks us to let go before we’re ready. I’ve learned this lesson in ways I never imagined—through loss, illness, and the stripping away of everything I thought defined me.

For years, I clung tightly to identities that felt safe. I was a mother, a partner, a survivor. I carried these labels like shields, believing they would protect me from the chaos of life. But then, life happened anyway. Cancer, sobriety, trauma—they weren’t just challenges; they were mirrors, reflecting all the ways I was holding onto illusions of control.

Letting go felt impossible at first. How do you release the very things that feel like your foundation? But the truth is, what we cling to isn’t always solid ground—it’s often the weight that keeps us from rising.

During my battle with cancer, surrender wasn’t a choice—it was a necessity. I couldn’t control the diagnosis, the treatments, or the outcome. I couldn’t control the fear in my fiancé’s eyes or the weight of my son’s questions. I had to let go—not of hope, but of the illusion that I could manage it all.

And in that surrender, something incredible happened. The space I created by letting go was filled with grace. I began to see that I am not my pain, my story, or even my triumphs. I am something deeper—something eternal and untouched by the storms of life.

What Are You Holding Onto?

Maybe you’re clinging to an identity, a relationship, or a belief about who you’re supposed to be. Maybe you’re holding onto fear, anger, or the need to prove yourself. I get it—letting go feels like a kind of death. And in a way, it is. But it’s not the end of you. It’s the end of what no longer serves you.

Think of it like pruning a tree. The branches you cut away aren’t failures; they’re necessary for new growth. The same is true for your soul.

Ask Yourself:

• What am I afraid to let go of, and why?
• Who might I become if I released the weight of what no longer serves me?

A Path to Freedom
Surrendering the illusion isn’t about giving up; it’s about opening up. It’s about trusting that the Creator has a plan far greater than the one we can see. When we stop gripping so tightly, we allow life to flow, and in that flow, we find peace.

For me, surrender has become a practice. It’s not something I do once and master; it’s something I choose every day. I remind myself that my worth isn’t tied to my roles or achievements. It’s in the quiet knowing that I am held, no matter what.

So today, I invite you to loosen your grip. Let the leaves fall where they may. You might be surprised by the beauty that emerges when you create space for the divine to move in your life.